Abstract. If the original mission of theory was to simplify and clarify the world in order that we might better understand it, then it is clear that that mission has been perverted, if not abandoned, by a sizeable party of theoreticians. Similarly, if it was the purpose of quantitative method to lend reassuringly objective aspects of scientific truth to the conclusions of international study, then it would appear that that much of that purpose has been lost amid a blizzard of impenetrable numerology. International Relations scholarship which is not comprehensible to the moderately informed and intelligent reader/listener has no point; indeed, in some cases there is reason to doubt that it has retained its hold on genuine linguistic meaning. Unless scholars discipline themselves to writing in plain terms, and to using expressions which correlate to something concretely existent in the world they claim to interpret, then their work will not merely be snubbed by policy practitioners, but will be genuinely unusable even by those who might in principle be open to input. (pp. 124–133)